20-something

An ocean breeze whirs through my open window. I can smell the damp salt sticking to my curtains. My back aches and my fingers don't move quite as nimbly as they used to; staring at a computer screen day in and day out, for pleasure and work has only meant a thicker prescription for my eye-wear. It's just about September 1st and another year has gone by, a year from last September when I was just about to embark on a new city, a new travel adventure. Here I sit, one year later and it's the same story, different setting. My friends and I seem to be caught in the trap of our 20s, not a bad trap mind you; a curious and illuminating culmination of our youthful "go with the flow" attitude and the demise of our economy. It's not what we expected our 20-something year to be. So many tears, so many nervous laughter moments at in-appropriate times, so many what if's and maybe I should have's...
Thanks to a brilliant woman whom I admire greatly I have just discovered Alan Watt's "The Nature of Consciousness" which I think we can all benefit from experiencing. Another delightful person in my life shared New York Times article on my generation's "growing up" crisis.
It's scary to have so much before you and so many questions that will only be answered with time. never directly, always in hindsight. It's the bittersweet reality of existence. We cannot know, we must experience and as 20-somethings, we have a lot more of that to do.

When it's right, it's right.

I find it incredible, the power of a decision and how if it is the right one, things tend to fall into place rather quickly. My decision to move to New York was one of the hardest I've had to consider in a very long time. The inner struggle of whether to stay close to my family or to follow a dream, a gut instinct tore me up to the point of anxiety attacks and migraines. In the end, I knew what I needed, and most importantly wanted, to do. New York has been calling to me since I was a very little girl. My whole family can attest to this as apparently, it was channeled through me with my inability to pronounce the letter 'R' properly, thus giving me a nice New York edge. With that being said, I am still finding it difficult to believe that I am going to be moving to New York City, with no real expiration date. I am not going for a school, or internship--but, for my life (not to be confused with life-time, which I don't expect). Knowing in the deepest part of my being that I am making the right decision for this part of my life has only been strengthened with every contact, every phone call and every potential job possibility that has come my way. And boy, let me tell you I am beginning to get overwhelmed (in the best possible way!) by all of the wonderful people I have spoken with and the generosity in sharing friends, contacts and colleagues. I truly believe New York is my right decision. With each day bringing new opportunities.

I have exciting news to share--not only was I highly recommended for the job that I have an interview for in September, but the chairman of one of the most prestigious international law firms specifically asked the director of pro bono (of that firm) to look out for me and help me identify a perfect place to work! I spoke with him this morning and after we discussed my interests and the kind of environment I want to be in the firm he suggested just so happened to be the one and the same firm that I have the interview with! We both got a chuckle out of that. He wrote the firm and just said "we love her, too!" and said what I just mentioned about the looking out for me stuff. Coincidence? I have no idea what else to call it besides amazing! I wrote a friend an e-mail this morning sharing that news, and I think I will just use a piece of that since I think it was put so succinctly--the oddity of coincidence that is.

who would have thought that a partner in Bellingham at the firm I work at, would be connected to the chairman of a[n internationally renowned law] firm that works closely with the law firm that [I have an interview with] came to me by way of my ex-boyfriends mom?!

If it is luck, then I feel like the luckiest girl in the world. If there is fate, then New York is obviously where I should be going right now. Anyway that I look at it, it is an occurence of the universe (whatever capacity you may believe, God or otherwise) and I am thankful and so very grateful.