Now, where am I?

Flying used to be a thing of luxury and show, excitement and exoticism. Not that it isn't those things today for many people, not to mention a privilege that I don't take for granted...I feel a bit numbed by all my bi-coastal traveling in the last few weeks. I've always known that I love to travel. I've always known that I love to fly. What I just discovered, is that I really hate sitting on a plane and I do not enjoy airports like I used to. I still find them fascinating places to people watch (when I am not so tired that I fall asleep only to be abruptly awoken by a women shouting to her husband which literally made me jump up and think that I had missed my flight...I was quite delirious and I am sure she thought I was on drugs with my eyes glazed and red as they were--this was in Chicago, too so add in some very think Chicaaaago accents) and they each have unique ambiances that range from Stark Stoicism to Chic Modernism but, an airport is chaos. It is a microcosm of society that you can't find anywhere else, it creates relationships that are the epitome of temporary and yet, profound in some circumstances, above all else it seems to be a social experiment. Fascinating, yes. Enjoyable? No. I love my destinations. The anticipation of going somewhere and having a new experience despite having been there before or not. I think it's what I live for.

I just got back from my bi-coastal trip to San Francisco, more specifically, Stinson Beach. My grandmother turned 75 on 9-9-09 and wanted to have her whole family together (or as many as could make it) so she rented a house right on the beach for us to stay at. There was 18 people at the peak of population at our abode. It always amazes me how much FUN we have when we get together. I absolutely adore my family. It stung though, to realize just how far away I am from everyone now that I am going to be living in New York City.

Another new land, a world away from my familiarity: Istanbul, Turkey. It is strange how I haven't really even thought much about this trip. It's been in the back of mind but it hasn't been the main source of excitement or anxiety. I've had so many things going on like moving, interview and traveling that I haven't had time to process it. And, now it's tomorrow. I think this will be the end of my international travels for awhile. When I get back I have to turn into a 'real' person and find a job (or start my job?). Sad, reality. I wish I could stay in fantasy-travel-land forever. But alas, I must join the ranks of the living and impoverished, at least temporarily. Until my next post (hopefully from Turkey!)...

Peace and wellness to you all.

'round and 'round I go.

Turn up Park Avenue...no no, that's not right. Should I turn around? I know I'm go ing the wrong direction, but I'll look like an idiot for turning mid-sidewalk and going in the opposite direction. I have to turn around. I'll just pretend like someone called me and I have to go meet them, that way no one suspects that I am not from the City. Abruptly stops and digs in purse (seemingly frantically)for phone to look at it, and then again, abruptly, turn around and continue the other (correct) direction. Whew. Well, that wasn't too scary. Now...where to turn next? I need to West 23rd Street to get back to the subway station, but where is it? There's the park, there's the statue of some guy cast in bronze, and oh oh there it is! YAY!

Thus was many a moment in today's "ADVENTURE IN NEW YORK CITY" where Heather finds herself going in the wrong direction multiple times and keeps walking...knowingly. This is called an unfortunate case of pride and I-don't-want-you-to-know-that-I-am-new-here-and-think-badly-of-me-even-though-you-aren't-even-paying-attention-to-me-and-I-am-pretty-sure-that-I-flashed-a-whole-bunch-of-people-when-the-wind-blew-my-skirt-up syndrome. Terribly unfortunate. But, gratefully didn't last too long.

Today is my official full second day in the city. It is quite bizarre to be here. This is a place I've wanted to live in for so long. And, now I'm here. Jobless and though not homeless I do not have a 'home'. I have been fortunate enough to have a good friend of mine from high school, LouAnne, offer me her apartment to stay in with her while I am figuring things out. It's muggy here, but I don't mind it. My hair and skin are acting differently, but considering the time I've spent in D.C. and Ghana, I am well prepared to handle the frizz and an extra layer of sweat.

I went and scoped out the building my interview is in tomorrow. It is swanky. Very classy and professional. Huge glass displays with china, jewelry, silver and glass. There is a lovely little park, the madison square park, right across from the building. I am sure it is a great place for lunches and afternoon breaks. I really hope that the interview goes well tomorrow. I haven't had a job interview in 3 years and am quite nervous about the possible questions they are going to ask me. What if I just freeze? I'll think of something, I know that. It will be nice to have this put behind me and then I can be even more excited about TURKEY!! So much traveling in such a short amount of time is exhausting. Tomorrow will be my third day here and then I leave super early Thursday morning for San Francisco. I hope my flight out west goes better than it did the east. I was in so much pain. Ugh. I'll take some tylenol PM or something to knock me out.

Well, I am on the move again...

PST

(View in the Chicago O'Hare at the computer kiosk)
It is 4:49 am in Bellingham. In Seattle. In Washington. Pacific Standard Time. It is 6:49 am where I am. In between my home and my destination. Caught in the rift between my two time zones. Eastern Standard Time, I am on my way.

Currently, I am ini the Chicago O'Hare airport. I have another (almost) 3 hours until my next flight leaves. Then, onward to my new state: New York.

For someone who has flown so much in her life I can say that this trip has thus far brought new experiences. First, I got driven to the airport in a preeetty fancy Lincoln Towncar (stylish, oh ya.), which I have never had done before. Second, I checked luggage!! Not just any luggage though, THREE bags...two of them weighing an inhumane (to those poor airline workers) 47.5 lbs each, and my 'little' bag weighing in at 34.5 lbs! Not my usual style--trust me. For one of the first times in my life, I walked onto a plane, knew where I was sitting and sat there. No problems, no questions, minimal waiting (who knew?!) and only had my laptop and purse (feels more like a small child-stuffed bag--did I forget to tell Tamia I took "A" with me? Just Kidding!). What freedom! What sheer simplicity. No wonder few people really enjoy flying stand-by. I still don't mind it, as it has allowed me to go so many places (thanks Dad!). But, really? I guess money really can buy comfort and ease. On a plane that is. The last new experience is rather unpleasant. I have always been a sleeper on planes, trains, automobiles--really any kind of transportation and Zonk/I am out. This time around, I couldn't get comfortable from the get-go. This then manifested into whole body aches and pains. My hands, wrists and legs seizing into deep aching cramps that still are hurting me now as I type. I tried to massage them and it did not help at all. My neck hurt, my back hurt. I felt nausous and was having to meditate and lull myself into focusing on other things just so as not to get sick throughout a large part of the flight. I think it could have come from a few things potentially: nerves. I mean, I AM moving all the way across the country and it's sad. and scary; lack of food/water. I was too nervous to really eat or drink before I left; The cold/flu going around Seattle (sorry airplane passengers if you now get this, too! No, I did not start an epidemic...?) or finally, maybe it was the Odwalla Mango Tango that sat out for 4+ hours that I chugged while I was waiting to go through Security at SeaTac?? Not quite sure. Regardless, I am not feeling very well now. Sleep deprivation, I am sure, is not going ot help my symptoms but hopefully the ibuprofen I took will.

T-Minus 2 hours until next flight departure. Oh dear. Airport stays, I am alll too familiar with the monotony. Thank you Internet Access. I really appreciate your existence right now.

Write y'all from the EST.

Play.Ground.Play: a night time pondering photo poem

In wonderment I wonder, where can the stars be tonight? While they gaze from the sky, wishing for me to wish upon them, do they wonder where have I gone? I wonder if the universe feels lonely to the stars: to suspend within the sky, twinkling. The silent, distant, unseen existence weights heavily on my mind. And yet, I wonder what if we are only as significant as the stars? You. Me. Them. Caught in this web, this entanglement of existence. You. Me. Us. We are together in this vast nothingness--everythingness. Twinkling.

Whispers of Adventure

As my time in Bellingham comes to an end, I can't help but admire and nostalgically stare at the odd quirks strewn about town. This is a place that I have fallen in love with, plain and simple. Four years is the longest I have lived in one place outside of my home-state, Alaska. Bellingham fed me my independence and guided me to the most encouraging and supportive people I know. It makes me sad to realize that just as I am finally given the freedom of time to truly explore the deeper intricacies and unique setting that I am in, I am leaving. Sometimes I wonder if I am just running away. Am I finding it too comfortable to stay here? What if I forever need to hold on to my nomadic tendencies and roam about the world; what about a home? In my last year of school I can remember my friends and I talking, complaining really, about Bellingham the city of subdued excitement, really. Where was the life? Where were the new people? Coming from a small town in Alaska with a population less than 10,000 while growing up, Bellingham is easily described as a city in comparison. Though, after spending four years deeply embedded in the college population (that shifts every single year, mind you) I do believe we felt like that was that. The comings and goings of our peers were no longer the exciting events that it used to be; we could feel the end nearing. No more 'new' classes or classmates...we weren't going to be part of the special population: the students. Now that I am not a student, I have to say that I love it so much. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn and being in school was enjoyable to a certain degree--but I love my afternoon runs and reading books at the park. I love having time for me, for you, for anything. Whilst I have been enjoying this time, I have come to realize that the newness of Bellingham is far more prevalent than previously realized or wanted to see. I am still meeting new people in places that I have been going or participating in activities for years. Wonderful, talented and unique people who I wish dearly that I had met earlier on. I am still discovering roads and paths, beaches and trails that I have never heard of or seen before. Have I willingly been blinded to opportunities that might have created attachment to Bellingham? Perhaps New York has not been calling me like I thought, so much as I've been whispering promises of adventure to myself if only I'd leave...

I've been reading this fantastic blog Thinking Out Loud and the post today was all about embarking on a new journey and the fear and excitement associated with that newness. Kim talks about how it was the best decision in the moment even though at the time, she was nervous it was a mistake. It was so comforting to me to read about someone elses experience at this time in my life. This move is really startingn to scare me. Not so much as to stop me, but enough for me to think very seriously about the important people in my life and to think about what I want to gather from this experience. I want to make the most of it, and I really hope I don't disappoint anyone--especially myself.

Looking Up: Wandering Kitchen

This is a van that belongs to a group of folks I met in Fairhaven whilst wondering around. They provide free food and are known as a wandering kitchen. They drive all over the U.S.A. and come from all over as well. Utah, California, Minnesota and Wyoming were some of the places they mentioned being from. They get the food from farmers and locals who donate it. Very hippie, very nice. They were generous and let me photograph their rad bus!

(A project) Looking Up: Noticing the Everday Unnoticeables

I have been inspired to do a photography project within my blog. I am not sure yet of it's frequency, but I do know the angle I am going to take. It is going to start out with simply taking photographs of things that are Up. It has come to my attention that I often walk around looking down, at feet, the sidewalk or stare vacantly forward--absent mindedly missing many amazing and small beauties every day. I have also noticed that many people do this. How many times have you walked along the same street only to one day too see a sign that you've never seen before? "Hey! Look at that sign--is that new?" only to have your wonderfully loyal friend say, "Uh, really? That's been there since we got to school...3 years ago." Hmmmm. Thus, my project! I hope you will enjoy it. This time around there are quite a few photos, I would imagine they will not be in such abundence in the future. Cheers!