What am I doing?

Existence.

Complacency is my downfall. I am unmotivated, unimaginative, un...everything. When does it get easier? I doubt that it does. What is it that I am living for exactly? Do we even have a real purpose, another thing that I doubt. We are just occupants of this round spinning glob of life -that by chance was habitable and we therefore inhabit. It wasn't a miracle, nor was it fate...it just happened. Existences doesn't make sense to me. I wish I was ignorant of my existence.

My name is Confusion

Story #1:

I woke up this morning and I realized that I was not me; not only was I not me, I was you and everyone was everyone –What do you think that means “someone everywhere is everyone” –I think I am schizophrenic or perhaps crazy, maybe both I guess they tend to go hand in hand, I think this because after I realized I was not me anymore it felt like my world imploded and I can’t even try to describe what that feels like; a glass being broken into a million little pieces, maybe that is as close as I can get, or even more than that, a glass broken into a million little pieces and then crushed and mushed altogether to be sorted out into something new –when I am you (I think to myself) who is thinking right now…can it be me or is it you and how do I know if I am not thinking, what if I am just hearing your thoughts ramble through your mind –or are you observing my mind while I am in yours –is that even possible –wait who is asking the questions me or you do we know who is who, It’s confusing and hurts whose ever brain this is; what is this feeling that I have, maybe it is anxiety or maybe nausea I guess they are easily confused…where am I, I mean where are “we” considering that I am no longer alone, I wonder if I should refer to me as we and us, instead, that way there is no exclusion on anyone’s part and no feelings get hurt, perhaps I will just let myself be in charge, I wonder if the other person, that thing, is a man or woman –would that mean that I would be bisexual, that is a funny thought even though I know the answer is wrong, it makes me nervous to think about another person in me or in my mind or me in theirs it makes me feel vulnerable, very vulnerable, I wonder if they can feel what I am feeling or if I am just feeling what they are –this confuses me, maybe I am confusion.

Social Change

What is "social change?" I use it in my concentration but, what do I really mean by it? How are women affected by change? What kind of change? There is bad change so how do you differentiate? Does someone always lose? Change is to add to, to make different in some way. But is what we are adding or trying to add always a good thing? No. That was a rhetorical question but I felt the need to respond anyway. Not all change is good. When we change in the political world the changes are not usually the best, nor are they even close to being good for the people. If you are talking about change of political power, almost the same applies; if we were to talk about hillary and barack for instance, one could argue either way that that good change would come about as long as ONE of them is in office...I want to explore what change is and what we mean by change, since it is such a pervasive word in our world, most especially with my generation. Also, social justice; where do the two merge or divert?