As my time in Bellingham comes to an end, I can't help but admire and nostalgically stare at the odd quirks strewn about town. This is a place that I have fallen in love with, plain and simple. Four years is the longest I have lived in one place outside of my home-state, Alaska. Bellingham fed me my independence and guided me to the most encouraging and supportive people I know. It makes me sad to realize that just as I am finally given the freedom of time to truly explore the deeper intricacies and unique setting that I am in, I am leaving. Sometimes I wonder if I am just running away. Am I finding it too comfortable to stay here? What if I forever need to hold on to my nomadic tendencies and roam about the world; what about a home? In my last year of school I can remember my friends and I talking, complaining really, about Bellingham the city of subdued excitement, really. Where was the life? Where were the new people? Coming from a small town in Alaska with a population less than 10,000 while growing up, Bellingham is easily described as a city in comparison. Though, after spending four years deeply embedded in the college population (that shifts every single year, mind you) I do believe we felt like that was that. The comings and goings of our peers were no longer the exciting events that it used to be; we could feel the end nearing. No more 'new' classes or classmates...we weren't going to be part of the special population: the students. Now that I am not a student, I have to say that I love it so much. Don't get me wrong, I love to learn and being in school was enjoyable to a certain degree--but I love my afternoon runs and reading books at the park. I love having time for me, for you, for anything. Whilst I have been enjoying this time, I have come to realize that the newness of Bellingham is far more prevalent than previously realized or wanted to see. I am still meeting new people in places that I have been going or participating in activities for years. Wonderful, talented and unique people who I wish dearly that I had met earlier on. I am still discovering roads and paths, beaches and trails that I have never heard of or seen before. Have I willingly been blinded to opportunities that might have created attachment to Bellingham? Perhaps New York has not been calling me like I thought, so much as I've been whispering promises of adventure to myself if only I'd leave...
I've been reading this fantastic blog Thinking Out Loud and the post today was all about embarking on a new journey and the fear and excitement associated with that newness. Kim talks about how it was the best decision in the moment even though at the time, she was nervous it was a mistake. It was so comforting to me to read about someone elses experience at this time in my life. This move is really startingn to scare me. Not so much as to stop me, but enough for me to think very seriously about the important people in my life and to think about what I want to gather from this experience. I want to make the most of it, and I really hope I don't disappoint anyone--especially myself.
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